The Trump sexual assault allegations, and why we shouldn't brush them aside

In the days following Donald Trump's election, it's been disheartening to see newscasters and professional talkers of all stripes moderate their formerly passionate criticism of him. "Let's give him a chance!" "He's our president now, and we only have one president at a time!" "He's been acting very presidential since Tuesday. What a wonderfully gracious acceptance speech!" I think the person who deserves an award is President Obama for not pulling Trump's seat out from under him. That's not a metaphor. Women and girls are, every day, at tremendous risk in this world. Rape is not a fluke, but an everyday occurrence worldwide, nationwide, on college campuses, on dates. A woman my age whom I was close to

was date raped. I never talked to her about it, but when she passed away not longer after, I wondered how much it had haunted her. Then in 2005, I met someone at a bar in Brooklyn and only intended to have a drink with him. He told me he was a high school coach, and I figured I'd be done talking to him in time to get home early, but that didn't happen. I told my brother soon afterwards, "I don't know why I was with him." David wanted me to recount what had happened, and I said I'd been led to another bar, apparently, where we met some of his friends and I was given another drink. So I too was date raped. I was also fired after a boss had playfully tweaked my elbows and I'd snapped at him. I was fired the next day. And every day, men size us up and down. Or if they aren't sizing us up, they're chastising us for no longer being worthy of their leers. Donald Trump is going to make all of this OK. He is more than just the lecherous uncle with the wink. He's been accused by over a dozen women of forcing his godawful lips/tongue/what have you on to them. Professionals who were there to interview him or who happened to be sitting next to him on a plane. Women who cry and shake as they recount their ordeals. His response? None of it happened. Barbara Corcoran, whom I've interviewed three times and admire a great deal, said to CNN's Erin Burnett that Trump had commented on her breast size while she was pregnant. She was visiting him for a business meeting. How many women have had this experience in a business meeting? I haven't. If I had, I'd never forget it, and neither has Barbara. By the way, she was the Queen of New York Real Estate before she became a "shark" on Shark Tank. Donald Trump doesn't care who he demeans. He will continue his sick, entitled misogyny in the White House. Just wait for it. And the American people, especially the good men out there who know how to respect women, need to stand up and speak out! Thank you, protestors! I am only glad I don't have a young daughter right now because I honestly don't know how I'd shield her from this madman. Photos: (1) In front of Trump Tower on Fifth Ave., by Laurie Wiegler; (2) By Gage Skidmore - https://www.flickr.com/photos/gageskidmore/25858555481/in/photolist-Fp2RDt-Fy6H5M-Fv98Vo-Fv9cDq-Fv93Pm-EzwkLW-Ewrt8Y-Fp38FZ-Fp3pfp-Fp3aQZ-EzSAXr-F5SySC-F5SwYs-FmL3mA-FxrgZ2-F5Szpu-FmLj8f-EzSTvX-Fv9A5C-EzwuoW-F5SMpw-EzT9gZ-Fv9ses-EzwK3f-F5SHNU-F5SUh9-Fv9z5G-EzwsWC-F5T3bA-F5T13s-Fp47j8-Fv9ZGN-FmLEa9-Fp41GX-Fp3VVn-EzwQcy-Fp44za-FxrKjc-Fv9Xzb-Fp4a3p-FxrGdH-Fj2SF8-Fj8V78-FgRFs9-FqeYps-FqeUZG-EZYoPE-FswM6P-Fj9mUv-FswHCB, CC BY-SA 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=47705735

Dealing with the reality of a President Trump ... sort of

Within 48 hours, I'd defriended at least six, maybe seven, "friends" on Facebook. This included two distant cousins. Someone I care a lot about, someone who lives far away from America and whom I admire, ticked me off no end and I almost blocked his Twitter access. I cried very briefly, but mainly, what I felt was rage. Donald Trump was going to be my president. No matter the hashtag that's trending, #notmypresident, Trump is on his way to becoming the 45th president of these united states. United States? Really? I knew when it happened that within hours, if not minutes, we'd see talking heads telling us how it won't be so bad, how Trump will behave himself, how he's got the calm and controlled Mike Pence at his side! Sure enough, when Big Orange T went a couple days "acting presidential" many in the media wanted to give him a big wet kiss. Not me. I was busy seeing my young African American protégée decrying the first election of her young lifetime, fearing for her socioeconomic future and even her physical well-being. She lashed out at whites. For after all, aren't we a cumulative "we", a part of the big neo-Nazi problem? Though she's had me in her life since she was turning 6, even though we'd been brought together and each learned that white isn't so white and black not so black, society was teaching her something else. Then there was the Puerto Rican housekeeper who told me how fearful she was, how all her friends were sick to their stomachs. There was the beautiful African American writer, a young friend of mine, posting poems on Instagram about her sadness. Then there was me. In my youth I was an 8, maybe even a 9! But now, a 5 at best. Ha! To even think this way is a sign that Donald J. Trump has gotten under the nation's cumulative skin. So I will not be one of those in the media who tells you that it will all be OK, that Trump the candidate is different than who he'll be as president. No. He is deeply unqualified to be Commander in Chief. He was barely qualified to run his own empire (see bankruptcies, and his pathological love for suing others), let alone sit in the Oval Office. I'm getting a little queasy as I write, even, thinking of that image. So no, I'm not going to say it will be all right, but I will say this: since the announcement of his presidency, I see the good guys coming together. I see the young protestors and old protestors speaking words some of us may be too scared to say or scream right now. Some of us hide behind Twitter or because of achy knees or sheer proximity -- there aren't as many protests in the 'burbs, after all -- we're not physically protesting. But millions are protesting silently, and we should continue to do so. We can support anything good that could possibly evolve or even devolve from the Trump presidency, whether it's fixing our nation's crumbling highways or supporting families and children. Surely, some of the people who will surround him (hardly all) may be positive influences. We have to believe. For remember, in life, nothing is all black or all white.

Photo: Donald Trump with his daughter Ivanka, Feb. 2016. Via Wikimedia Commons Images; By Marc Nozell from Merrimack, New Hampshire, USA - https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=46940086